Discreet dating for married people in New York

Who you'll meet, and what it costs

Joining, building a profile and browsing are free; reading and replying to messages needs a paid membership, and the prices page lists the options. Prices are in US dollars. Checkout shows the billing name that will appear on your card statement, and memberships renew until you cancel in Settings > Billing. You must be 18 or over to join. Because profiles are shared with partner sites in the same network, some people you hear from will have joined through another site.

The law in New York

New York repealed its criminal adultery law in November 2024. The law dated from 1907 and made adultery a class B misdemeanour carrying up to three months in jail.

Adultery is still one of the grounds for divorce in New York's Domestic Relations Law, section 170, but most people don't need it. The same section allows a divorce where the marriage has broken down irretrievably for at least six months and one spouse says so under oath. The court won't grant the divorce until money, property and any custody questions are settled or decided. This isn't legal advice; speak to a family lawyer before acting.

Sexual health in New York

The NYC Health Department runs Sexual Health Clinics that provide low- to no-cost care for STIs, including HIV, plus PEP, PrEP, doxy-PEP, emergency contraception and vaccines. Most services are walk-in only, so arrive early. Adults 19 and over may be asked for a sliding-scale fee based on income, insurance may be billed, and the Health Department says you can still be seen if you have no insurance or can't pay. Services are available regardless of immigration status.

Eight clinics are open, in the Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan and Queens; Crown Heights and Riverside are closed until further notice. Check the Health Department's clinic page for current hours before you go.

The CDC's GetTested finder at gettested.cdc.gov lists other free and low-cost testing near you, and our guide to sexual health with a new partner covers what to test for and when.

If someone tries to scam or threaten you

• The FTC, at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, for romance scams and other fraud.
• The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center, at ic3.gov, for online fraud and sextortion.
• 911 if you are in danger or a crime is happening now.
• StopNCII.org if someone threatens to share intimate images: it lets an adult create a digital fingerprint of an image on their own device so participating platforms can find and remove copies.

Don't send money or more photos. Keep the messages and report the profile through our help centre. The guide to scams and blackmail explains how these schemes usually run.

Talking to someone

If you want to talk it through, a licensed marriage and family therapist will see individuals as well as couples. If you are struggling, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, at any time. Our page on getting support lists more places to turn.

Before you meet

Our safety page and the guide to meeting safely cover first meetings, and the discretion page explains what the site shows and sends: the billing name, account emails and who can see your profile.