In short
Affair websites are dating sites for people who are married or attached. Most let you join, build a profile and browse for free, then charge a membership to read and reply to messages. On Marital Affair, run by Ambervine Inc, photos are reviewed but what members write is not checked, and profiles are shared with partner sites in the same network.
| Free | Joining, a profile, browsing, receiving interest |
|---|---|
| Paid | Reading and replying to messages |
| Renewal | Automatic until you cancel in Settings > Billing |
| Statement name | The billing name shown at checkout |
| Profiles | Shared with partner sites in the same network |
| Minimum age | 18 |
An affair website is a dating site built for people who are married or in a committed relationship and looking to meet someone outside it. Mechanically it works like any other dating site. The difference lies in what its members need: privacy, a clear idea of what the other person wants, and no surprises on a bank statement. This guide explains how the model works, using Marital Affair as the worked example because those are the details we can state precisely.
Free to look, paid to talk
Almost every affair site lets you in for nothing and charges at the point where you want to talk to someone. On Marital Affair the sign-up form asks for an email address, a password and your date of birth. You must be 18 or over.
Once you are in, a profile can say a good deal about you, or very little. The profile fields include your gender and sexuality, the gender you are looking for, the age range and distance you want to search, and optional details such as religion, ethnicity, languages, children, smoking and drinking. You decide how many to fill in.
| Free | Needs a paid membership | Optional paid extras |
|---|---|---|
| Joining and creating a profile | Reading messages | Profile boosts |
| Adding photos | Replying to messages | Priority messages |
| Browsing other members | Read receipts and seeing who viewed you | An ID-verified badge |
| Receiving interest | Viewing photos in full |
Free members also see adverts. Reading and replying to messages is the main thing you are buying, and it is worth knowing before you spend an evening writing the perfect profile. The current options are on the prices page.
What a membership actually buys
A membership opens messaging, which is where any conversation happens. It renews automatically at the end of each period until you cancel it in Settings > Billing, so if you only want a short look, set a reminder the day you pay. Our guide to cancelling or deleting your account walks through both steps, and what affair sites cost compares memberships, trials and extras across the industry.
Memberships and credits
Affair sites charge in one of two ways. A membership is a fixed fee for a set period that renews until cancelled. Credits are bought in bundles and spent on individual actions, such as sending a message. Credits can look cheaper at first and cost more in a long conversation; memberships cost the same whether you send two messages or two hundred. Marital Affair uses memberships.
None of the extras is needed to use the site. Decide whether you want them before you are in the middle of a conversation.
What you'll see on your statement
Checkout shows the billing name that will appear on your card statement, so check it before you pay. Whatever the name, the amount and date are there for anyone who reads the statement. Our page on billing, email and discretion covers what the site shows and sends in more detail.
Who can see your profile
This is the part many people miss. Marital Affair shares its member database with partner sites in the same network. In practice that means:
- members who joined through a partner site can see your profile
- they can message you, and you them
- a profile shows which site in the network the member joined through
So your audience is wider than the people who typed this site's address. Choose your photos and words on the assumption that anyone in the network could see them, including someone who lives near you. Our guide to profile photos and privacy goes through what to include and what to leave out.
What gets checked, and what doesn't
On Marital Affair, every photo is reviewed; nothing else members write is checked. The image rules do not allow nudity or lingerie, and that review is the extent of the routine checking.
What members write about themselves (age, marital status, location, intentions) is not verified by anyone. There is an optional ID badge: a member pays a small fee and passes an ID document and selfie check run by LEM Verify. The check is compulsory only in some cases, such as signing up through a VPN or when an account has been flagged. A badge tells you something useful; the absence of one tells you very little, because most people never buy it.
The network's member terms say plainly that profiles and interactions may not always be what they seem. Take that at face value and let trust build slowly.
How to read any affair site's terms
Before paying any affair site, spend five minutes on its terms. Look for:
- Who the operator is, and where it is registered.
- Renewal and refunds: how long a membership lasts, whether it renews and what is refundable.
- Fictional or automated profiles: some sites say in their terms that they use them. If the terms mention fictional, virtual or operator-run profiles, you are not only talking to real members.
- Shared databases: whether your profile appears on other sites.
- Disputes: which country's law applies, and whether there is an arbitration clause.
Who tends to use affair sites
People arrive for very different reasons: a marriage that has become companionable but sexless, a relationship they are not ready to leave, a partner who knows and has agreed, or simply curiosity about whether anyone would still be interested. A good conversation usually starts with both people being clear about which of these they are, and what they are and are not looking for.
If you are still weighing up whether to do this at all, start with questions to ask yourself first. It is not a lecture, and it may save you some trouble.
How conversations usually go
Messages stay inside your account on the site. Most people exchange messages for a while, then talk on a video call, then meet somewhere public. There is no rush, and anyone who tries to hurry you, especially off the site and onto another app, deserves a little more caution.
An example of a first message, to put in your own words:
"Hello. Your profile made me smile, especially the part about long lunches. I'm married, looking for something discreet and unhurried, and I'd rather talk for a while before meeting. What brings you here?"
Three rules cover most of the risk:
- Never send money or gift cards to someone you have met online, whatever the story.
- Never pay anyone who threatens to share your messages or photos.
- Meet in public first and get yourself there and home.
Our guide to scams and blackmail covers the first two properly, including where to report problems in each country.
Join Marital Affair free
Adults 18+. Free to join and browse. Reading and replying to messages is paid.
Worth deciding before you pay
- How long do you want it for? Memberships renew until you cancel, so pick a date and stick to it.
- What are you comfortable showing? Assume anyone in the network can see your profile.
- What are you looking for? Say it plainly on your profile. It saves time for everyone.
- What would you do if it went wrong? Know where to report a scam or a threat before you need to.
For the step-by-step version of joining and messaging, see how Marital Affair works.
Questions people ask
Can I see who is on the site before paying?
Yes. Joining, building a profile and browsing are free on Marital Affair, so you can see the kind of people in your area before spending anything. You only need a paid membership when you want to read and reply to messages. Free members see adverts, and some extras, such as seeing who viewed you, sit behind the upgrade.
Are the people on affair sites checked?
On Marital Affair every photo is reviewed against the image rules, but nobody verifies what members say about their age, location or situation. An optional ID badge shows that a member has passed an ID document and selfie check. Most members won't have one, so treat everyone as unverified until you have spoken on video.
Will people from other sites see my profile?
They can. Marital Affair shares one member database with a network of partner sites, so members who joined elsewhere in the network can see your profile and message you, and each profile shows which site its owner joined through. Choose your photos and details on that basis.
Do affair sites use fake profiles?
Some sites in the wider industry have admitted in their terms to using fictional or automated profiles, so it is worth reading any site's terms before paying. Look for words such as fictional, virtual or operator profiles. On Marital Affair, the member terms warn that profiles and interactions may not always be what they seem, which is reason enough to go slowly.
Is it cheaper to pay per message or by membership?
It depends how much you will use it. Credit-based sites charge for each message or action, which can mount up quickly in a busy conversation. Membership sites charge a fixed amount per period that renews until cancelled. Marital Affair uses memberships, and the members area shows each plan's price before you pay.
Keep reading
- Married dating: what people mean by it, and what it involvesSecret affairs, open arrangements and companionship: what married dating means, who it suits and what it involves.
- Meeting someone for the first time: a safety checklistA first-meeting checklist: video call first, meet in public, make your own way home, know when to leave.
- Open relationships and affairs: how they differConsent is the difference: how open relationships and affairs work, the main types, and how to raise the subject.
- Choosing profile photos and details when you value privacyWhat to include, what to leave out, and how to share photos safely on a discreet dating profile.