Dating while you are married can certainly involve some nimble thinking and even nimbler footwork. Quite often, the other spouse has no idea what is going on, which means that the marriage could be at risk if that person did find out.
However, marriage is also fraught with frustration. If the sexual chemistry that the two of you had when you first met and got married has gotten stale, but your spouse hasn’t forgotten how to gripe at you or ask you to take out the trash, dating someone else can put that spring back in your step. That same charge you used to get from text messages from your spouse is gone, but you’ve found someone else who does that for you? So how do you keep things from spilling? Here are some tips.
Think about getting a separate telephone that you use just to talk to your new dating partner. You can find pay-as-you-go phones that won’t require you to set up a traceable online account. Then, use this phone to text and talk. Make sure that you keep this phone in a secure place so that your spouse doesn’t find it. After all, even if you have secured the phone with a code, all you have to do is think back to the story of Tiger Woods to remember what happens when an angry spouse finds a phone with a lot of extracurricular activity going on with it.
When you go out on a date, try and use cash as much as possible. If your spouse pays the bills, you don’t want to have to explain charges to restaurants (and hotels) that you paid for while you were out on a date. Cash does not leave a traceable path, and it doesn’t show up on statements. Just make sure that you don’t make cash withdrawals that are big enough to cause notice at a later date.
Don’t push it when it comes to scheduling dates. It’s true that the two of you might have electric chemistry. However, you are also married, and if you don’t plan on getting a divorce, you have a few commitments to that relationship to remember. This means that you and your new dating partner might have to squeeze more fun into less time – think about scheduling lunch dates if you work near one another. You also might have to settle for less time together than two single people who are dating would have.
Planning ahead can help both of you make the most of this new dating adventure. The best part of a ‘Friends with Benefits’ situation like this is that you are both getting what you want out of it without any pressure. So keep that casual nature a common theme in your dating and your enjoyable little bit of extramarital fun will be able to continue a whole lot longer.Tags: Affair, Dating, Marriage, relationships